I read a quote on Pintrest the other night. It seems to apply to me, my classmates, and anyone else who is making big life choices. "Making a big life change is scary. But, know what's scarier? Regret." Maybe we never know that we're making big changes but it's the little things that count as well.
I have so many friends going off to college or continuing their college careers. Soon enough, that will be myself and my classmates. It's true that we haven't started our senior year quite yet, but it is upon us. After talking to my guidance counselor the other week, I found out that I am a little ahead of the game when it comes to my plans after I graduate. And quite honestly, that's okay with me. I would rather know what my plan is than to have to scramble around when there are deadlines that pop up right after we start school. I've been told that I plan ahead way too much, but this is one of those times that I think it is very much necessary.
Another choice that I've decided to make is my weight loss. Sure, I probably should have taken care of this years ago, but I know now that I don't want to be the fat freshman when I start college. I am just so stoked to follow through with this. And that is a big change for me as well. I've always been healthy, but I've never been little. And now that I've seen my options for college, the fact that I can get a personal trainer at my number one choice, kind of makes it that much better. It's not like I haven't started, I am madly in love with Zumba. For anyone that has never tried it, I strongly recommend it. It relieves stress and it's just fun.
Change can be scary, I understand that. But I also understand that we can't let fear hold us back. When I think of my changes, I think of a quote from A Cinderella Story, "Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game." I refuse to let myself and others down anymore. I think we should all make a pact, that in one year, we will not be the same people that we are right now. Whether it means losing weight, continuing our education or just being different. Whatever you want to do to change your life, just go out and do it. Never let anything or anyone hold you back,
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Don't let your warrior leave you.
Recently, I have had two songs on repeat. They are by one Demi Lovato, and they just speak to my life and what I've gone through. The first one is called Warrior, in which she talks about having a person in her life take everything from her. I've never been one to open up about my situation with my dad, but with this song, I feel like I can.
In my life, up until now, I think I have seen my dad a total of maybe 3 years combined. More recently it's been limited to Christmas, mainly because things haven't worked out with us. My parents were never married, and maybe that had an effect on me, but I think it's more because of how stubborn I am. I am a lot like my dad, in many ways. There are a lot of people in my life that have never met him, and that's how I want to keep it.
It's not like I'm proud of the characteristics I inherited from him. It's gets me yelled at frequently and it gets me in a lot of trouble. We're both really bullheaded, and we both need to have the last word. More recently, I had the last words which were "Stay out of my life." Maybe that's a bit harsh, and maybe I should rethink myself, but being this way for 10+ years has gotten me a lot further in life than being a little wimp who never stands up for herself.
Let me explain. In this state, a child who lives with one parent and is in a shared custody agreement has to live with the circumstances until they are 12 years old. At which point they can choose to live with one parent, or continue the every other weekend crap. For anyone that knows me well enough, that wasn't okay with me. I never got along with my dad and his girlfriend, and maybe it's because he was never around. But when I was around 6 or 7, I decided that I was no longer going to live with the arguing and the crying, and I decided to live with my mom full-time and only see him when I had to. The negative side to all of this is as much as I've seen my dad in my entire life, I have gotten to see my younger brother even less.
He is 4 years younger than me and he is one awesome kid and I hope that one day, all of this crap will be behind us and I will be able to see him whenever I want to. Okay, enough about my life...I wanted to talk about another song.
Recently, Demi Lovato has gone through stuff that have experienced personally. She has gone through depression, anxiety, and self-harm much like myself. Let me tell you, it's a hard road to get off of. That's not why I love this other song, I love it because it speaks to someone who hurt her. And for me, it speaks to my dad. It's called "Shouldn't Come Back." It talks about all the pain and that the person who is being sung to, should stay out of her life. It just resonates so deeply with me. And maybe, if you listen to them, you'll find something you can relate to in them.
That's all for the night my lovelies, even though I have written into the wee hours of the morning. I hope I give you something to stand for because face it, "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything." I don't want to see anyone fall for the wrong reasons.
Click on those links by the way, it leads you to the songs I just talked about :P
Good night for now. My song of hope. Maybe it can be yours too. Who knows, maybe you'll be telling someone this soon.
In my life, up until now, I think I have seen my dad a total of maybe 3 years combined. More recently it's been limited to Christmas, mainly because things haven't worked out with us. My parents were never married, and maybe that had an effect on me, but I think it's more because of how stubborn I am. I am a lot like my dad, in many ways. There are a lot of people in my life that have never met him, and that's how I want to keep it.
It's not like I'm proud of the characteristics I inherited from him. It's gets me yelled at frequently and it gets me in a lot of trouble. We're both really bullheaded, and we both need to have the last word. More recently, I had the last words which were "Stay out of my life." Maybe that's a bit harsh, and maybe I should rethink myself, but being this way for 10+ years has gotten me a lot further in life than being a little wimp who never stands up for herself.
Let me explain. In this state, a child who lives with one parent and is in a shared custody agreement has to live with the circumstances until they are 12 years old. At which point they can choose to live with one parent, or continue the every other weekend crap. For anyone that knows me well enough, that wasn't okay with me. I never got along with my dad and his girlfriend, and maybe it's because he was never around. But when I was around 6 or 7, I decided that I was no longer going to live with the arguing and the crying, and I decided to live with my mom full-time and only see him when I had to. The negative side to all of this is as much as I've seen my dad in my entire life, I have gotten to see my younger brother even less.
He is 4 years younger than me and he is one awesome kid and I hope that one day, all of this crap will be behind us and I will be able to see him whenever I want to. Okay, enough about my life...I wanted to talk about another song.
Recently, Demi Lovato has gone through stuff that have experienced personally. She has gone through depression, anxiety, and self-harm much like myself. Let me tell you, it's a hard road to get off of. That's not why I love this other song, I love it because it speaks to someone who hurt her. And for me, it speaks to my dad. It's called "Shouldn't Come Back." It talks about all the pain and that the person who is being sung to, should stay out of her life. It just resonates so deeply with me. And maybe, if you listen to them, you'll find something you can relate to in them.
That's all for the night my lovelies, even though I have written into the wee hours of the morning. I hope I give you something to stand for because face it, "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything." I don't want to see anyone fall for the wrong reasons.
Click on those links by the way, it leads you to the songs I just talked about :P
Good night for now. My song of hope. Maybe it can be yours too. Who knows, maybe you'll be telling someone this soon.
Monday, August 12, 2013
I have a couple of shout-outs to make tonight. And by that I don't mean I am going to talk about random people that many of you probably don't know. What I am planning on doing is giving shout outs to groups of people, even though that sounds super judgemental.
First one is to those of you with single parents, especially single moms. I know I know, a teenage girl talking about the perks of living with one other female. But I know plenty of guys with single momma bears and to be honest, it's pretty amazing. I never imagined hearing myself say that until I started looking at colleges at the beginning of my last summer. Let me take you into my world for a little bit, if you get bored then you have my permission to leave my blog. I am a lucky little girl who gets to live with her momma and even though we don't always get along, she's seriously like my best friend and I have no idea what I would do without her. What I'm getting at is that these women don't get a lot of credit for the hard work they pull off. If you are fortunate enough to live with the Queen B and only her, then you should be able to admit that I'm right.
Most days, she goes to work before you get your butt out of bed, and she's home right before the sky turns black. But while she's away from your side, she's making the money it takes to keep that roof over your head, those clothes in your closet and your stomach from eating itself from the inside out. Am I right? Not only does she work this job during the week, we all know that she works 2 sometimes 3 jobs to keep us young ones happy. With the economy the way it is, that's bound to be some of us in like 15 years. I'm not saying that we're going to be single or divorced, but we will have bills to pay, mouths to feed, and a house to keep standing. So the next time you want to scream at your mom (or single dad) because they won't let you go anywhere or won't get you those new sneakers, just think about how you would react if that were your kid.
Second one goes out to those of you who, like me, are applying to college or trying to figure out what you're going to do with the rest of your life once you walk across that stage and receive that lovely diploma and are done with "the greatest years of your life." Face it, everyone knows that high school is just 4 years to make some friends, have some memories and cry a lot because everything is changing SO FAST. Like I said, I spent my summer college shopping and trying to decide just what I want to be when I grow up. This process is long, frustrating, and sometimes (actually ALWAYS) super super stressful. Since I started high school I have wanted to major in like 10 different things and while visiting colleges up and down the east coast, I've changed my mind again.
Change is a good thing, as long as it's a good change. I know that sounds kind of redundant but if you think about it, I'm pretty right on this one. A bad change would be going from never smoking a day in your life to smoking 3 packs a day. Whereas a good change would be going from a pretty high weight and dropping it before you graduate. There's a big difference between good and bad.
I want to give the BIGGEST shout-out to my seniors who are going off to college or bettering their life in some way. You're either leaving me to become something awesome, or you're starting your own little family. Either way, I am going to miss the majority of you a whole lot and I expect to see you all very very soon. I'm not trying to sound sappy or anything but I cannot wait to see what becomes of the students that have graduated before me and the ones to come. To be honest however, I am so extremely ecstatic to see the future of the Class of 2014. We have to leave our mark on this town and this world but most importantly, we have to leave an impression on the people we meet.
Peace out for tonight my loving Panthers. And I will grace your newsfeed with my present soon enough. For now, goodnight.
First one is to those of you with single parents, especially single moms. I know I know, a teenage girl talking about the perks of living with one other female. But I know plenty of guys with single momma bears and to be honest, it's pretty amazing. I never imagined hearing myself say that until I started looking at colleges at the beginning of my last summer. Let me take you into my world for a little bit, if you get bored then you have my permission to leave my blog. I am a lucky little girl who gets to live with her momma and even though we don't always get along, she's seriously like my best friend and I have no idea what I would do without her. What I'm getting at is that these women don't get a lot of credit for the hard work they pull off. If you are fortunate enough to live with the Queen B and only her, then you should be able to admit that I'm right.
Most days, she goes to work before you get your butt out of bed, and she's home right before the sky turns black. But while she's away from your side, she's making the money it takes to keep that roof over your head, those clothes in your closet and your stomach from eating itself from the inside out. Am I right? Not only does she work this job during the week, we all know that she works 2 sometimes 3 jobs to keep us young ones happy. With the economy the way it is, that's bound to be some of us in like 15 years. I'm not saying that we're going to be single or divorced, but we will have bills to pay, mouths to feed, and a house to keep standing. So the next time you want to scream at your mom (or single dad) because they won't let you go anywhere or won't get you those new sneakers, just think about how you would react if that were your kid.
Second one goes out to those of you who, like me, are applying to college or trying to figure out what you're going to do with the rest of your life once you walk across that stage and receive that lovely diploma and are done with "the greatest years of your life." Face it, everyone knows that high school is just 4 years to make some friends, have some memories and cry a lot because everything is changing SO FAST. Like I said, I spent my summer college shopping and trying to decide just what I want to be when I grow up. This process is long, frustrating, and sometimes (actually ALWAYS) super super stressful. Since I started high school I have wanted to major in like 10 different things and while visiting colleges up and down the east coast, I've changed my mind again.
Change is a good thing, as long as it's a good change. I know that sounds kind of redundant but if you think about it, I'm pretty right on this one. A bad change would be going from never smoking a day in your life to smoking 3 packs a day. Whereas a good change would be going from a pretty high weight and dropping it before you graduate. There's a big difference between good and bad.
I want to give the BIGGEST shout-out to my seniors who are going off to college or bettering their life in some way. You're either leaving me to become something awesome, or you're starting your own little family. Either way, I am going to miss the majority of you a whole lot and I expect to see you all very very soon. I'm not trying to sound sappy or anything but I cannot wait to see what becomes of the students that have graduated before me and the ones to come. To be honest however, I am so extremely ecstatic to see the future of the Class of 2014. We have to leave our mark on this town and this world but most importantly, we have to leave an impression on the people we meet.
Peace out for tonight my loving Panthers. And I will grace your newsfeed with my present soon enough. For now, goodnight.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Becoming my own warrior.
So recently, I have been taking new views on my life. There's senior year, graduation, and college. What's not to think about right now? I usually don't give away my secrets when I find my own happiness, but if I can help someone else be happy, that makes me happy.
This "new view" isn't new to this world, nor should it be new to most females trying to figure out life. I have been able to travel to Europe, and although that isn't the end of my travels it has made me realize how big this world is. It isn't anything like the Disney World ride that repeats the same song over and over again, because it's untrue. Yes, I know that you could go on vacation and happen to meet someone that knows your aunt's cousin's niece, but that isn't the point. The point is that travel is one thing that can make almost everyone happy. I get my traveling happiness by continually watching Eat. Pray. Love. Although it's about a middle aged woman who leaves life for a year to travel to Italy, India, and Bali, I find so much to relate to in that movie. I do own the book as well, but haven't had the time to read it. I do wish that I had the time and money to just drop everything for a year to learn a new language in its native country, pray to a guru to find the source of everything, and "Have a love affair in Bali."
It isn't everyday that you find multiple things that you can call your rock and source of happiness. I can say that other than watching a movie over and over again and fantasizing over what my life will be like when I get older I have found a love and a happiness for this amazing thing called Zumba. If you haven't tried it, I suggest you do because it is such a rush. Who knows, maybe you'll find your calling.
I have never been that girl who knows exactly what she wants when she wants it. I have always been a changer. I think I have changed my mind about what I want to major in in college like 20 times since I was a little girl. But even though I have all of this stress to think about, going into my senior year of high school, I find that the two things that have made me the happiest for my entire life, is music and my friends. I can be having the crappiest day ever and I walk into my auditorium and see my "choir family" and nothing can change my smile for the rest of the day.
So maybe you don't like movies, books, Zumba, or anything fun in this world. But as long as you have something that you're passionate about and that makes you happy, that's all that matters. This world is going to suck for everyone at one point or another in their lives. I just hope that maybe, I can help those that see this to make the changes necessary to live a happy life. But be warned that it isn't easy in the least. Being happy takes time and you have to learn to love yourself before you love anyone else or before anyone can truly love you. "Be so happy that when others look at you, they become happy too."
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